Day 2 of the writing challenge tells me…
Write something that someone told you about yourself that you never forgot.
Assuming I remember things is already making this challenge challenging. 😉
I’d like to think I have lots of things to write about, actually. I like to ask questions about myself, for self discovery and for correction, if needed. I’m also really grateful for the people who are close to me and trust me and our relationship enough to talk to me about things that aren’t easy to hear. I can’t pretend that I *always* receive it with grace, I’m not Jesus.
One thing that comes to mind fairly often, though, is something my mom said to me back in my early, early 20’s. I broke up with a man who, for all intents and purposes, was a really great man. He was definitely head and shoulders above anyone I’d ever dated. He had his own home, a solid, well-paying job, his own car, etc… On paper, the man was an ace!
The problem was… I didn’t like him. I wanted to like him. I really did. But he bored me to tears. His lack of comedic adventure stifled every bit of my personality. His inability to have deep, meaningful conversations left me wanting to talk to his friends or other people… anyone… more than him.
You guys… so boring. Such a good, good, boring man.
We had the opportunity to be a power couple – since we both worked for the “Big 3” and we coulda done some things. But after trying to make it work and hoping he’d come around to maybe laugh sometimes, but realizing it just wasn’t in him, I broke it off.
My mom told me how proud she was of me that I would rather be alone than to be stuck in a relationship that wasn’t good or that wasn’t for me or that wasn’t going to allow me to be myself. She told me that most people would have another one ready to take up that empty space before getting rid of the first one. But the fact that I didn’t need to fill that space with just anyone made her really proud of me.
I guess it’s made me really proud of me too. I’ve spent most of my life since then single and, mostly, I’m okay with it. I would love to marry someday, but I’d love to marry the man who will allow me to be myself and to be who God created me to be. Someone who will embrace my nuttiness and want to understand my brokenness. I have no desire to settle for someone who won’t walk this road with me or help us make a new path all together. And, for the record, it isn’t all about me and my needs, but there does have to be a willingness to accept and embrace the quirkiness of one another.
I play an imaginary bango on my hair, y’all… not everyone can be okay with that. ❤