For many of us who have been single for a lifetime, or what feels like a lifetime, this can be a question that creeps into our heart time and again. The thoughts of never being the chosen one, being third, fourth or last choice no matter what we do, having to face another day of rejection… those can be so overwhelming. When allowed to gain a foothold, I believe it can actually cause physical side effects (problems with weight, acne, little energy, etc…) along with the spiritual battle for your heart that ensues inside.
Our first reaction is typically to start building that wall or to put the wall back up because we should’ve known better than to let someone in, right? We get mad at ourselves for being foolish, for dreaming, for thinking this time we might actually be enough finally, for believing in the idea of love and how it might be for us after all.
Friends, those are all very real feelings. And they are HARD to deal with on what seems like an ongoing basis… ask me how I know. But allowing those thoughts to rule in our hearts, define our worth, overtake our days; even worse overtake our nights means that we are not walking in and believing in the sovereignty of God Almighty.
Do we think, I mean with the deepest places in our hearts, that God wants to see us in pain? That He wants us to consistently question our own worth? That He wants us to live in a place of unmet desires and expectations day in and day out?
So how do we get out of that funk? That heart place the enemy is desperately trying to overtake with his lies and his deception?
First we lean into our Father God, into His word and promises for us. They are never not the right thing to do; read, pray, worship. Then we lean into our inner circle peeps.. the ones who hold our hearts and who passionately run to God on our behalf. And, finally, pour into other people; serve, pray, love.
I know I don’t know everything, I only come to these things from a place of experience.. I don’t know all the answers. I know what works for me and what God has revealed to me. I know that God is faithful and that He has no desire to see me or you sitting in a place where we’re consistently questioning our own worth, goodness, value, etc…
The Spirit of the Living God lives inside you. Believe me, you are enough. Walk in His strength and power today. Remind yourself that not only do you belong to the King of the world, but that the King of the world is residing inside of you.
Let me know how I can partner with you. If you’re in the pit, I wanna help you out.
God tells us:
Psalm 139:14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.